Boo-hoo!

Have you ever thought you’d be perfect for a job that you didn’t get?  Perhaps you’ve been disappointed that you are not getting what you wanted – promotion, new job, cool office.  I’ve had my share of disappointments throughout my career.  The advice I usually got, and that I told myself – “Everything happens for a reason.  Looking back on this a year from now will give you a different perspective.  What is meant to be, will be.  Time will heal all wounds.”

While all of these statements may be true, they didn’t make me feel a lot better.  They also didn’t encourage me to look deeper into why I didn’t get what I wanted in the first place.  Here’s what I’ve learned:

#1.  Wrong goal.  Looking deeply at what I was chasing after – and more importantly why – turns out I was going after something that someone else wanted for me.  In one case, it was my own perceived “glamour” of the job.

#2.  Wrong skills.  During your disappointment, ask yourself if you had the right skills and experience.  Examine who got the job – watch out for the trap of thinking they were someone’s favorite.  Find out specifically what skills and experience the person who got the job has – that you don’t.

#3.  Attitude.  If you’ve not gotten an internal job at your current company, it may be your behavior that’s holding you back.  Are you a perfect employee, always on time, cheery disposition, going the extra mile, never saying a negative word about your co-workers or the company?  Attitude can have a huge influence over what you get and what you don’t.

#4.  Personality.  You’ve got the enthusiasm and bubble.  You’re quietly confident.  You say to yourself, be yourself and let you shine through.  I couldn’t agree more.  Understand and accept that not everyone will like you, enjoy your personality or want to work beside you.  Be aware of the personalities of those interviewing you – you’re not going to be a fit with every organization.

#5.  Mourn and move on.  Give yourself some time – 10 minutes, half a day, whatever you need.  Think about how rotten it is that you didn’t get what you wanted.  The key to this is – keep it to yourself.  Your initial thoughts and negative feelings may not be the best to share with co-workers or others.  They may not see this process as you moving on, they may look at it as a bunch of sour grapes.  Be careful who you complain to.

What has been your experience?  What works for you when this happens?  Leave a comment below.

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