Challenging Styles?

Following is a blog post I wrote last year.  I think it bears repeating if you’re encountering difficult people during this holiday season.  I hope you enjoy it again.

If you are working with someone who has the same style and the same priorities you do, your communication will be clear and flawless.  This doesn’t happen very often in my work life.  I’ve got some tips I’ve been using that seem to work well.

Take a moment.  When someone is using a completely different style of communication I can emotionally react to that style.  I might get offended with someone being aggressive or impatient with someone else who is taking a long time to get to the point.  Rather than react to their behavior, it’s more productive if I understand their style.  Understanding their style helps me use the right language and approach to communicate effectively.

Depending on the situation your style can change.  If you’re under a lot of pressure you might withdraw or you might become assertive.  Everyone reacts a little differently.

I use a grid to help me organize people’s behavior so I can communicate effectively.  My grid has four quadrants.  The top of the grid is for people who are task oriented, at the bottom individuals are more people oriented.  Those falling to the right are more aggressive and those falling to the left are more passive.

If my mindset is the same as the person I’m communicating with (I’m in the same quadrant) I won’t have any trouble at all.  It’s when we are on opposite parts of the spectrum that trouble can happen.

Look to see where the person you’re trying to communicate with might reside.  Here are some tips to communicate with different types of people.

Director:  These people are interested in getting things done and accomplished.  They are not interested in details.  Stick to the bottom line, leave out all the details.

Analyzer:  They want to get things right.  They are interested in the details and process.  Explain what you’re doing and how you’ll make things right.

Entertainer:  They want to be appreciated by you.  Acknowledgement and praise will help these people listen to what you want to say.

Socializer:  They primarily want to get along.  Be prepared to have a little chit chat with a socializer before getting to the content of your communication.

Where do you fall on the grid?  Under pressure a Director is controlling; an Analyzer becomes a perfectionist; an Entertainer will want attention and a Socializer will seek your approval.  When you identify where someone is on the grid, it’s easier to meet their needs and communicate your message when you can flex to their style.


 

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